ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
