She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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