if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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