Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Ladies don't puke and tell
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm like, not good at living.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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