I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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