Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
its not stalking. its research.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
