wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I just gargled with NyQuil
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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