Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
