I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
