Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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