you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize