is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
