"it" just moved
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
