i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
