you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
