just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
