i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
