I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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