I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
