I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Randomize