She went from zero to smokin in five shots
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
