hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
