i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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