After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
