32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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