So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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