We named our party play list daddy issues
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Can I color on your dick again?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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