dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
