What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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