I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
smell my finger.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
