dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
