oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
