i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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