just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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