I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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