i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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