I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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