you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
