it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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