Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
