just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
