turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Actions speak louder than pants.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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