I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
