Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
