oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Houston, we have a blender
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I would fuck him just for his dog
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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