I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
