Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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