New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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