ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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