Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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