He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
