I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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