Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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