You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
