she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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