So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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