oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just invented taco cereal.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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