Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
