I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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