i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
