I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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