rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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