theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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