Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
